I can't feel my normal self. Yes, and I hate it. Since Friday, either TV-ing or Facebook-ing. I can't bring myself to do anything else. Lazing around, is all I do. My weekend routine gone down the drain this week. But I really hope my strength will come back.

I had 1 packet of instant fried noodles late afternoon yesterday and a bowl of KoKo Krunch for supper. I've to force myself to sleep yet again last night. When I woke up, I found myself searching for my handphone with just a picture of him and me which I set as wallpaper. I was hoping to see something. Something that will show me "Saini Love".

At this point of time, I'm still TV-ing and Facebook-ing. I don't felt like eating, but adik served me some breakfast that mum prepared. Didn't have the heart to reject him, so had a few bite.

Short-tempered. I have always been. I've tried to avoid it. But, how do I avoid it totally? I really need it away from me. I've been holding my temper for a while. But, that fine Thursday, it just have to come back.

Many things happened on Thursday. Had to complete a ppt on the spot, PAL, staff fitness day, contact time and then an event till evening. Days before had a meeting and some personal meet ups with teachers for the event. I had so much butterflies in my stomach on Thursday. The best part was, someone just had to add stuff into my head. For the first time, I just had to speak my mind out. 10 months I hold myself, I control myself. When I start to speak, it just means, enough is enough. As much as I respect you because of your age, but you just don't let me to continue with that.

One thing happened on Friday. Just that one thing. Just that one situation. Now, I feel like slapping myself.

Dear Love,

If you're reading this, I'm sorry. I really would like to apologise to you. Please know, I love you with all my heart. I really do.

Labels: In need of strength